Mother's Day gift to me

So with May comes the most dreaded time of the year for me. My incredible, irreplaceable, mother-in-law passed away several years ago on Mother's Day and it also was her birthday that year.  So far my husband hasn't fallen into his usual week long funk but I still am anticipating a weekend of reflection.  I am really okay with that too.  One thing about working in retail for any amount of time you really begin to see holidays as days of commercialism and it being all about the sales.  My husband always told our kids from year one we were together that they should celebrate their mothers every day.  I remember one day in my first year as a stepmother calling my own mother on the phone remembering some incident as a child when she attempted me make me a baby doll. I didn't have any and begged and begged even though we didn't have the money.  So she took out the old sewing machine and tried to sew me one out of a black fabric with little white flowers on it.  None of the arms or legs were the same size or shape and the head was twice as large as the body.  I also remember throwing it down and crying saying how ugly it was.  When this memory hit full force with my having a mother's perspective I rushed to the phone.  Sobbing almost hysterically I kept apologizing for the way I had acted.  After about a minute of silence on her end she erupted into laughter say that WAS the ugliest doll ever made and I should not be sorry for that.  We still make jokes now about that doll but the guilt is still there.  No matter how odd looking it was...she made it for me and I should have treasured it.  Now that my stepdaughter is a mother I get that call from her every Mother's Day.  My stepson is a little less reliable but he is like that with all family not just me so I don't take it personally.  But when I do hear from them even if it is just a quick text to me that is the ultimate gift.  My kids are three amazing people who I would do anything for.  And my mother just is in a class all her own among women she is the best.  This year my real gift to myself is just going to be that I cut myself a little slack and do not expect to be the perfect mother, daughter, or wife.  Not that I ever pretend to be that but I do tend to set the expectations a little high at times.  I think we all do.  So really no rants or tirades tonight it's midnight I am soooo zen right now I cannot get fired up about anything.  Now tomorrow I will let loose on a few topics popping up out there.  Watch out Ambercrombie and Bitch...oh Fitch sorry my bad.