Xanax night

This is the most wonderful time of night in this house when most occupants are nestled in their beds and the ones that are still awake are watching tv so it isnt so quiet you hear every sound made.  It is also one of the most dreaded nights when hubbies medications run out before they can be refilled tomorrow.  Now if I could i would knock him on the head with a giant hammer so he would sleep till tomorrow but alas this isnt loony toon land sooooooo I get to spend the evening dealing with the mood swings and jumpyness and overall crazy.  Crazy is not a four letter word with us.  He actually uses it more than i do.  I find myself asking if I had known fifteen years ago what I know now about depression and mental illness would I have still made that till death do us part leap.  I remember being a little girl asking to find my soulmate to love who would love me in return I forgot to say make him perfect right.  Then of course if I change the path I chose I would not have my son and I would have never had the honor of raising two incredible human beings who sometimes slip and call me mom. And really anybody can say forever... or until things get tough, but for me it seems like the tough stuff is the real stuff.  Its easy loving somebody when they are at their best but doesnt it mean more when you have seen each other at your worst and can say I am not turning my back on you lean on me.  Ohhh im bordering on mushy here better back that up.  Changing gears evening workout at park was good enough and ended comically when my sister and I returned to her car and there was a note left on her dash informing her she was a moron because of her failure to park in the lines.  I told her I now have it in writing that she IS the moron not me. Hahaha.  Almost 11pm and people are starting to come out of rooms what is wrong with everyone here?  I dont sleep thats a given but the rest of them should be out by now.  Just read the article about mad cow disease being found in a cow in US which is making me feel so much better about all the fish and chicken I have been consuming. Gives me the heebie jeebies thinking about it.  Oh I love my job but love being allowed to sleep till seven a.m. even more.  I hear my son laughing hysterically at something in his room which tells me it's time to peek in and threaten to turn off the adult swim.