Well now that things are quieting down for the night I can really let it all out.  How hard to do fight for someone who doesnt want to be saved.  When you love someone can you really just let go knowing if you let that person walk away they will give up on everything once and for all.  How many times has my husband told me I am the only thing keeping his head above water...now I am not even doing that.  And I know there is a part of him that will just be happier away from this house and some of the people  here.  I dont blame him for that.  Am I really so cold I can let him walk away.  I already told him if he leaves I have a feeling he wont see our son again.  Sounds melodramatic but true.  Fifteen years can i just let it end like that.  So many tears tonight so many emotions and I can tell he is getting into leaving mode because he is cutting everyone off...including me.